Seven secrets your mother probably never told you

So, I don’t know about you but I’ve been receiving a number of soppy “Love! Your! Mother! Already!” articles posted my way because I’m a mother, I guess and oh look! It’s Mother’s day soon.

And I’m so sick of them I decided to do my own mother’s day post *grin*

Seven secrets your mother probably never told you

  1. You made her cry. Yep, it’s true. And not only “cry” in the way all those articles say, like for joy when she found out she was pregnant with you, or when she held you in her arms the first time. (Insert retching noise here)
    Your mother cried because she was overwhelmed by her task of raising you, didn’t know what to do, and was otherwise sleep-deprived, hangry and worried sick. BUT SHE BRAVED HER TEARS BECAUSE SHE KNEW YOU NEEDED HER TO BE BRAVE!
  2. She loves cookies, too. But she always offers you the last one, never eats your favorite sort and always buys the ones you love. BECAUSE PEOPLE MATTER MORE THAN COOKIES, DUH! And if your mother doesn’t know that, then what does she know?
  3. You hurt her. And let’s NOT talk about the indescribable painful trauma of birth – which she had even if she told you your birth was great and fast and nearly painless. (She lied because she loves you. Don’t hold it against her!) But you hurt her whenever you said you hated her, that she was unfair, that soandso’s mother was much cooler than she was. It’s a pain she gradually numbed, but it hurt all the same. Not because you said it, but because SHE KNEW IT TO BE TRUE BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT THE VOICES INSIDE HER MIND TOLD HER TOO!
  4. When you cried, her heart broke. Every. single. time. Yes, even when she said “But I told you not to run,” or “Why did you climb that high anyway?” or “I don’t want you to hang around with those kids.” But you know what killed her the most? KNOWING THAT YOU NEEDED TO LEARN HOW TO HEAL YOUR OWN HURT INSTEAD OF DOING IT FOR YOU!
  5. She’s a stalker and just loves to watch you all the time. At night she’d creep into your bedroom to watch you sleep, breathe, dream. Muahaha. AND ALSO TO CHECK THAT YOU’RE STILL ALIVE! Because losing you is her greatest fear.
  6. She knows she’s not perfect. Look, all moms know this. All moms know the helplessness of not knowing what to do, not having an answer, having a short temper, having a bad day, venting frustration, feeding you empty calories instead of nourishing veggies etc. as all moms fear the daunting task of raising you to become a responsible adult. Really, she’d love to hang around in PJ’s, eat ice cream and watch Netflix all day too instead of doing chores, working her ass off in an underpaid part time job, cooking dinner, saving pennies, never sleeping. She just can’t. Why? POSITIVE ROLE-MODELING. That’s why.
  7. She loves you more than she does herself. Despite the fact that she wants to shake you or thrash your backside sometimes. Yes, even when you’re grown up. BECAUSE IF THERE’S A CHOICE BETWEEN DOING SOMETHING FOR YOU AND DOING SOMETHING FOR HERSELF, SHE’D ALWAYS CHOOSE YOU!
  8. Don’t send her flowers and a card on Mother’s day to tell her that you love her. Wait until at least next month and do something awesome together that you know she likes. Even if it’s just sitting around in your PJ’s, watching TV or her favorite movie. You know, the one you hate? Yeah, well, changing your loaded nappies wasn’t fun either, nor was cleaning up your vomit.

    Think about it!

    And stop sending me those articles!

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